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She let out many expletives about the male species. At any other time her remarks would have been surprising because she was boy crazy. I just continued to cry. Finally I undressed and got under the covers. Amanda turned out the lights and sat on the bed holding my hand until a restless sleep overcame me.Next morning Johnny came by but Amanda met him in the foyer of our dorm telling him that I was in no condition to see him. She returned, handed me a note from him but I just threw it in the trash. She retrieved it for me and put it in the drawer of my desk.In the weeks ahead, I threw myself into my studies. I ate little and slept less. Amanda noticed the dark circles under my eyes. Oh how I wished Hal had answered my emails but he never wrote me when I left Oregon two years ago. I realized I kissed him many times and I reasoned whether to forgive Johnny. However he crossed the line allowing Eleanor to stroke his manhood. Hal never went past just kissing me after I laid the rules down. She generally followed my lead in almost everything except that shameful time I asked her stay on her knees in church for an activity entirely unrelated to prayer and meditation. She wouldn’t talk to me for almost twenty-four hours and strangely, I found that disconcerting. I guess in retrospect, I had a lot of respect for Nancy and years later I understand she was more my “best friend” rather than a convenient vessel for my excessive production of spunk too precious for random distribution. It was only last year that she married a fireman from across the river and I suspect he packed a sizable hose to keep her flame of sexuality smoldering far from public view. Her first offspring was a set of twins and she seemed well-suited to maternal expressions. It was obvious she was more of a responsible homebody than some nymph of sexual desire when she was with me in my formative years.My Sue was definitely not the motherly type.She was all sugar and spice until the moment of truth arrived.
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